This is the chapter in the book Leadership is male?.
10
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN
MEN AND WOMEN
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Of course the physical difference is not what is meant.
What is the difference as relevant to our discussion?
I would like to express the difference in view as follows:
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Research carried out on men and women changing nappies
(diapers in America) showed men were significantly faster
than women. The report on a survey was announced on
Capital Radio on the 18th July 2004. It took 1 minute and
36 seconds for a man to change a nappy. It took 2 minutes
and 5 seconds for a woman.
This is because as task oriented the guys were treating
the operation as a kind of pit stop as with a Formula 1 racing
car. Everything laid out in their minds so the job was speedily
accomplished. The ladies however interacted more with the
baby and as experience oriented this meant that the only
pleasure in the task was that interaction.
Men tend to live in their heads more; women tend to
live in their feelings more. This being observed we read that,
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Genesis 3:6 |
Satan tempted Eve in the things which she experienced. The task of obeying the command was no longer in view. She was deceived.
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Genesis 3:13 |
. . . the woman being deceived, fell into transgression. |
1 Timothy 2:14 |
Now her experience of seeing the tree was there before she
ate. Her experience of wisdom and food was yet to be until
she ate. But the desire for the new combined with the existing
made it real. Food she experienced and wisdom as good in
general. Not yet for this fruit, but real in general. So hooks
were in place which Satan used to entice her to choose to
eat. All based on her experience.
Deception involves making a decision to believe something which is not wholly true. Satan wants us to believe something
that is not true. But we believe it to be once we choose for it.
He uses what we know to be true as hooks to add his lies to.
To this he adds feelings or intensity that ‘show’ this is ‘good’
or ‘important’ or ‘real’ or ‘immediately required’ . . .
So, just as he used scripture to tempt Jesus in the wilderness, but always texts out of context, so he uses truths
we know of, but only in part. Highlighting only the bit he
wants in view. Please note that this method is the same for
deceiving men and women.
The deception involving women in a gathering of
believers where learning occurs therefore lies in the experience
of what is being heard. Does it feel right? Nice? Are they
comfortable? Does it agree with one’s experience? Whether
real or aspired to?
Of course these are not wrong in themselves. It is the
time taken to discuss these and the diversions possible which
are the issue: Not least because the feelings expressed or their
intensity may only be temporary.
Deception and the gender difference
There is a difference between men and women in regards
to deception. It is about the female make up and it is
about the male make up. In particular with reference to how
new information is processed. For women it is to do with
the emotional reaction to new input: The overwhelming
sensations which override decision making processes. This is
what happened with Eve.
Woman’s greater emotional sensitivity than man is a
great asset to her, but in the area of desire type deception,
renders her more vulnerable than man. Man’s greater mental
aloofness is an asset to cold planning, but his thinking base
renders him more vulnerable in the area of decision based
deception. It also makes him communicate differently and be
more remote when he is not permitting a healthy operation
of his feelings.
Marriage and the gender difference
If it is understood that women are more experience oriented
than men and that men are more task oriented than women
this is helpful in a relationship. This is a brief aside.
A man who aspires to make his task consist of the good
experience of the woman in his life will grow to understand
and appreciate her. The woman who communicates what is
needful to help the man in her life in his task will benefit greatly. The man not being a woman will take time to learn
what is needful, but if the woman shares what is needful
even if only once then both will grow to appreciate and
enjoy the life they have together . . .
Unless otherwise stated Bible quotes are from
the New King
James Version.
© copyright Thomas Nelson Inc. 1979,1980,1982.
© copyright Jacques More 2009. All Rights Reserved.